Strength and the Concept of Letting Go
by Tjix
Summary: What really happened during the Dark Tournament? Hiei didn't want anyone to know about his 'weakness,' so no one ever got the full account.


(((Dedication: Dedicated to Justine, whom I always keep in mind when writing about Kurama. They have so much in common. Also dedicated to my epitome-of-cool betareader, Kittenn1011—who made this story worth reading and worth posting.

Summary:

What _really _happened during Kurama's battle with Karasu? Hiei didn't want anyone to know, not even Kurama. So no one ever got the full account—until now... (a fresh look at the Kurama/Karasu battle, with a little more Hiei involvement)

Disclaimer: I am _so_ not-owning that I could scream.

Info: one-shot; nonromantic; first/third person POV (narrated); friendship/action; Hiei and Kurama; partially AU, partially canon

Author notes: This story begins mostly canon, with a touch more of Hiei than the actual anime employs. Then it sort of—splits off.

"blah"—speech

_blah_—thoughts

'_blah'_—telepathy

_blah_—mental/spirit speak, very rarely used)))

**I Won't Let Go**

**By: Tjix**

"Oh, my! This is the first we've seen of these fisticuffs from Contestant Kurama during this tournament!" Koto, the kitsune host of the Dark Tournament, shouted excitedly. "However, Contestant Karasu is dodging every strike in the nick of time!" She slapped the edge of the arena for emphasis.

Hiei narrowed his scarlet eyes. "Kurama has something planned..." he murmured. _He's not an idiot, that Fox. He knows he won't beat Karasu with fists._

Kurama fought with only slightly less than his usual grace, but as Koto had observed, Karasu easily eluded every assault. Hiei growled deep in his throat. "Kill the damned _baka_, Fox," he whispered.

Kurama aimed another punch and Karasu ducked it. "Have you lost your mind from you injuries?" the blonde sneered. "Coming close to me is suicidal!" He sidestepped a kick targeted at his head and charged a glowing yellow explosion in his hand.

"If I can't see your youkai, then it's all the same no matter where I am," Kurama snapped, backing up.

'_Don't waste your breath talking, kitsune. Just kill the _teinousha_ and have done with it. You're wasting time,'_ Hiei advised telepathically.

The charge in Karasu's hand bloomed and turned green. He flung it at Kurama, who ran, sprang lightly over it, and landed directly in front of his aggressor as the bomb detonated. The redhead launched himself at Karasu and, in a move so quick that the crowd couldn't see it, sent him skidding and reeling across the ring.

Sliding to a stop, Karasu braced himself and frowned at Kurama. The kitsune stood in battle stance for a moment, breathing hard.

Looking unperturbed, Karasu commented, "That was a pretty good thrust... or so I'd like to say..." Smirking, he prodded the developing bruise that Kurama had created. A bead of blackish-red fluid—blood—dripped down his chest. Plucking something from his chest, he held it up for everyone's eyes. It was a seed.

"This was what you were after, right?" Karasu inquired smugly, eyes glittering. "Shimaneki grass, huh?"

Hiei clenched and unclenched his fists. _Come on, Kurama... that was feeble... I know you've got more in you than that._ He gritted his teeth. _Come on, Fox._

"Your rehashed attacks won't work," Karasu droned on, unaware of Hiei's glower latched onto him.

On the sideline, Kuwabara snarled in frustration. "So fist fighting doesn't work against him either?"

"He can even read attacks that use plants...!" Yusuke gasped.

"Isn't there anything else he can do?" Koenma demanded frantically, referring to Kurama rather than Karasu.

Hiei remained silent. He could see Kurama trembling, even from here. _'Come on, Fox,'_ he coaxed. _'You're stronger than this. You'll make it.' _He lent the message some mental comfort, the telepathic equivalent of squeezing his friend's shoulder.

'_Thank you, Hiei.'_ Kurama's tremors lessened visibly.

Ignorant of the mental exchange, Karasu laughed. "Let me commend you for injuring me not just once, but twice now," he said airily, confidently. Flicking the seed into the air, he caused it to explode in a small burst of fire.

Kurama took a step back. Before he could move again, metal bands abruptly shot from the ground and clamped around his foot. The kitsune gasped and jerked.

An odd little appendage popped from the ground near the bands. It was a long, thin blue-brown string with a single eye and a mouth on top. The eye was tipped with a lit fuse.

Bouncing around Kurama's feet and showing off its needlelike teeth, the strange creature shrieked, "Caught you!"

"My underground explosive, the Muddy Bomb," Karasu explained casually.

Kurama gasped for breath. Hiei's nails were digging into his palms.

"Muddy Bomb just a little longer!" the aberration crowed. Indeed, the fuse was nearly gone.

Kurama's eyes widened—and then—

A fierce explosion of smoke and green fire rocked the arena. "KURAMA!" Hiei screamed, not realizing at the moment that he had spoken aloud, but the sound was lost between the sound of the detonation and the kitsune's cry of pain.

Kurama hit the ground hard, blood slinging from his leg. Hiei bit his lip so hard that it began to bleed, as well.

"Kurama!" Yusuke screamed.

Shaking violently, pain clear in his profound green eyes, the youko placed his hands beneath his shoulders and pushed himself part of the way back up. Karasu laughed again. Hiei's lips pulled back in a snarl. He wanted so badly to separate that man's head from his neck.

Kurama rose as best he could, his knees bent with pain and his shoulders slumped with weariness. Yusuke darted to the edge of the arena and shouted, "Kurama, don't move! You're surrounded!"

And indeed he was. Glowing green disks and orbs closed Kurama in on all sides. Jerking his head up, Kurama eyed them nervously.

There was a long silence—such a long silence. It probably only lasted about eight seconds, but it felt like an eternity to everyone—especially Kurama and Hiei.

"Even if you'd like to move, it must be all you can do just to stand up, right?" Karasu asked with a grin. "There's nothing you can do."

Kurama stood frozen. So did Hiei. _'Don't let him do this to you,'_ the Jaganshi pleaded.

'_I may not have a choice in the matter,'_ Kurama replied wearily.

Karasu began walking forward. "You can't call on any plants from the Demon Realm. You can no longer... make a plant into a weapon... either." He tauntingly drew out the sentences, making his steps slow and idle—enjoying his control. When he was almost directly in front of Kurama, he asked quietly, "Am I wrong?"

Kurama made no move and emitted no sound.

"It would be a simple matter for me to blow you to bits," Karasu informed him. Then, smirking again, the bomber said, "But I'm not going to do so!" Flicking his wrist, he caused a bomb by Kurama's hip to explode. The fox gave a strangled cry of pain. Another bomb exploded on his shoulder. He screamed, blood hurling from his shoulder.

One after another, the glowing charges exploded, injuring Kurama again and again. Hiei took a step toward the arena. Damn the rules! He was ready to leap up there and help his friend, but Yusuke and Koenma pulled him back.

Kurama stood, smoldering and bleeding. Then he fell gracelessly to his knees. Red fluid dripped from his mouth and fingertips. Soon he was kneeling in a pool of his own blood.

'_Is it as bad as it looks?'_ Hiei whispered telepathically.

'_No. It's much worse.'_

'_Kurama...'_ Hiei felt the need to do something. Shout, scream, rip Karasu's head off—_something_.

Karasu chuckled. "You've done well to put me to this much trouble. I wish I could place you at my side forever..." His eyes slid up and down Kurama's body as he said this. Detecting the lecherous undertone in his words, Hiei choked. His eyes widened and his face turned white.

"I'll kill him," he snarled. "That perverted _obutsu_, I'll kill him myself!" He started toward the arena again. Yusuke pushed him back.

"As your reward," Karasu continued, intent only on Kurama, "I will let your beautiful face remain just as pretty as it is."

Kurama forced himself to a standing position.

'_Fox, what are you doing?'_

'_I have a plan. He obviously doesn't get it at all, which is fortunate, since he might have prevented it. But...'_ the kitsune hesitated, _'...it's going to cost.'_

'_Going to cost what?'_

Kurama did not reply.

'_Going to cost _what,_ Fox?'_

Still no response.

"Now then," Karasu smirked, "shall we move along?" Flicking his wrist, he caused two bombs to detonate, then two more, and two more...

'_KURAMA! Kurama, NO! NO! Fox! You have to live through this! Kurama!'_

Blood stained Kurama's entire body. He would not survive for long.

'_You idiot! You idiot! How did you get yourself into this? _Baka_ Kurama! You can't die! You can't die!'_

'_I'm sorry, Hiei... truly I am.'_

"KURAMA!" Yusuke screamed.

The youko hit the ground.

Devastation struck the Reikai Tantei.

The crowd exploded into roaring approval. "Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!" they chanted.

"What tremendous cheering!" exclaimed Koto. "I can't even hear the voices of those around me!"

Someone snatched the microphone from her. "Yo, yo, don't act all important like that!" he shouted.

"Hey, give that back!" Koto snapped, whipping her microphone back—only to be tackled from behind by another anonymous demon who gooed (yes, I did mean to type that), "Yeah, he's right!"

"Juri-san, can we please have a count?" Koto cried, trying to escape the drooling demon.

"Right!" Juri yelled, darting into the arena and standing about five feet from Kurama's limp form. "Contestant Kurama is down! I will make the count!" Lifting her hand and bringing it down, she shouted, "ONE!" Repeating the motion, she continued, "TWO!"

"Oh, my God," Yusuke whispered.

"THREE!"

"He's not really _dead_, right?" Kuwabara demanded. "I mean, Kurama can't just _die_."

"FOUR!"

"Apparently he can," Hiei commented bitterly.

"FIVE!"

"This is going to mean _so _much paperwork," Koenma moaned.

"SIX!"

Kurama's body moved. Juri stopped her count as he struggled to all fours, blood dripping from countless places on his body.

"HE'S ALIVE!" Kuwabara shouted jubilantly.

'_Kurama, _what cost?' Hiei demanded, returning to his earlier inquiry. There was too much at stake now. On one side of the scale was their victory—on the other side, Kurama's life.

'_I... I will... use up all of my remaining spectral power...'_

'_WHAT!'_ Hiei ran toward the arena again and was yanked back again by Yusuke and Koenma. _'Damn you, Kurama, what are you THINKING! If you're planning on committing suicide, there are better ways! Jump off a building later if that's what you want, but now is not the time!'_ He looked away and thought privately, _Damn it all, I need you _here_, you idiot._

Kurama had nearly stood up now. _'This is my last resort.'_

Karasu kept his eyes on his opponent, but he spoke to Juri, snarling, "I don't need you to count! It's who lives and who dies!" Lifting one hand, he charged up a bomb.

"No, it's not!" Kurama growled.

"Die!" Karasu roared, throwing the charge.

"_You're dying too!_" Kurama gritted his teeth and began to glow lavender. His hair whipped around him and his eyes shone white.

The green trail from the explosive blazed in an arc across the arena. Then, it—it was gone?

Kurama screamed in final defiance. Hiei wailed inside his head, utter loss permeating his voice.

A Makai bloodsucker plant erupted from Kurama's aura, stretching across the arena to Karasu. The needle-points slammed into his chest and immediately began pumping his blood back into the heart of the plant.

"A bloodsucking plant... impossible..." he whispered in a strangled voice, blood trailing from the corner of his mouth. "There's no way you could summon this..." Then he collapsed, and the plant... well. Let's not go into the gory details. Needless to say, the crowd was horrified—and fascinated. Karasu couldn't even scream as his body vanished into the core of the plant.

Dead silence dominated the entire arena.

While everyone else was watching Karasu get digested, Hiei had eyes only for Kurama. Even from here, he could sense his friend's heartbeat slow... and stop. Reaching out, he found the kitsune's mind slowly dying for lack of oxygen pumped by the heart.

"Kurama!" Yusuke yelled, echoed by Kuwabara.

Hiei ignored them and gently worked his way into Kurama's mind. Finding the fox sitting cross-legged at the mainstay of it, Hiei's mental self knelt beside him. _Kurama?_

Kurama slowly looked up. His eyes were a curious mixture of green and gold, his hair striped with red and silver. His ears were human but a silver tail was curled around his waist.

_Hiei._ His voice was soft and sad, but calm.

_Fox..._

_Yes?_

_Nothing. Just... don't move._ Hiei placed his fingers on Kurama's temples. _This is going to hurt a little._

_Hiei—don't. It's okay. I'm ready to go._ Kurama leaned against his friend. _So long as you promise to take care of my mother._

_And if I don't?_

_I will return from the Spirit World, hunt you down, and drag you there with me to torment you endlessly._ Kurama sounded amused. _Then I will ask _Yusuke_ to take care of my mother._

_Kurama..._ In an intimate gesture very personal to their friendship, Hiei wrapped his arms around the kitsune's shoulders and guided the fox's head to lie on his chest. _I know you're ready to go. I'm just not ready to let you._

Kurama looked up at him and frowned. _I know what you intend. It is quite a hazard, Hiei. If you go too far, you could kill yourself. It could mean that _neither_ of us survives. Then we really _would_ have to ask Yusuke to protect Shiori—and Yukina._

_It could mean both of our deaths,_ Hiei agreed softly, _but it could also mean _your life_. It's worth the gamble if it might mean giving you another chance._ He touched Kurama's temples again. _Now hold still._

_Very well,_ Kurama said, sounding uncertain. _Be careful._

Hiei drew a deep, shuddering breath... and opened himself. Slowly at first, then faster, his life energy began pouring into Kurama. The fox demon trembled violently but made no sound. Hiei reached over and smoothed a lock of silvery-red hair from his friend's face. The raw, painful twinge had started in his chest and he knew that Kurama felt it just as strongly.

Stroking the ridge of Kurama's ear with his thumb, Hiei jerked as the pain hit a sudden crescendo. Biting his lip, he curled his body around the kitsune's, knowing that Kurama was experiencing the same agony and wishing he could protect the youko from it.

Kurama, one arm wrapped around his own waist in an effort to dull the pain and the other around Hiei's waist in an indication of comfort, smiled softly despite his agony. He knew Hiei's inherent protectiveness and felt oddly flattered to be the object of it. Hiei didn't make many friends—it was an honor to be counted among the few.

* * *

Yusuke—not having noticed the odd, glaze-eyed state that Hiei was in—sensed something odd. It was Kurama's heart... starting back up?

A beat.

Pause.

Another beat.

Pause—

Too long—

There would be no beat this time—and then—

Beat.

* * *

_That's enough, Hiei._

Obediently, Hiei cut off the energy flow. Instantly, he felt himself go limp and numb. Kurama supported him as well as he could.

_Pull out now. I need to get back to the match,_ the fox said gently. _Or whatever's left of it._

Touching Kurama once more on the arm, Hiei dutifully pulled out. He opened his material eyes somewhat dizzily, the world spinning around him. He nearly collapsed to his knees before he regained control of himself.

Kurama was still lying on the floor of the arena. His heartbeat was faint, but steady.

Then—he twitched!

His eyes flickered, then opened. "I... I'm alive," he whispered.

'_Are you alright, Fox?'_ Hiei tried not to stagger as the mental effort of the telepathic message sent his world reeling again.

'_I'm... better than alright. Hiei... I think you gave me more energy than was necessary to keep me alive.'_ Kurama pushed himself to all fours easily.

Yusuke and Kuwabara gasped.

Carefully, slowly, Kurama began to rise. His head throbbed and his blood pulsed heavily in his veins, but it was all surprisingly—mild. Technically, he shouldn't even be alive.

"You did it!" Yusuke yelled in excitement. "What a come-from-behind win!"

"Kurama wins it!" Kuwabara crowed enthusiastically, punching the air.

'_I didn't do it alone...'_

'_Hn.'_

* * *

Kurama stumbled from the arena. Yusuke caught him as he nearly fell. "You okay, man?" he asked quietly.

The redhead's eyes were focused past the detective, on Hiei, but he acknowledged the question with a smile and a soft, "I will live." Straightening and gently brushing Yusuke off, he went to Hiei.

The half-Koorime swayed as he looked up at his friend. "Stupid Fox..." he muttered. "I'm... glad you're alive."

Kurama smiled and grasped Hiei's wrist. Pulling the Jaganshi's arm around his shoulder and supporting him as well as he could, the kitsune told his friend, "Thanks to you."

"Don't thank me," Hiei said gruffly. "I told you. I know you were ready to go. I wasn't ready to let you. It was purely selfish on my part."

"Very well," Kurama humored him. "Now, come. Let's get you inside. At this point, you're in worse shape than I am."

Yusuke listened to the exchange curiously. What did Hiei have to do with Kurama's victory? And what did Kurama mean, that Hiei was in worse shape than he?

Hiei allowed himself to be half-carried, half-dragged inside. Leaning heavily against Kurama, he murmured, "I really _am_ glad that you're alive."

Kurama reached two fingers under Hiei's chin and tilted his face up. Gentle emerald eyes met weary garnet ones. "As long as you still need me here," the former thief said softly, "I will remain."

**The story's not over yet!**

Why did an entirely different tale crop up in the animated series? Why was this story changed so much? How was it changed? How did I get the real account?

It's quite interesting, actually. As it turns out, Hiei was embarrassed about his tender care of Kurama during the Tournament. Soon after the Tournament ended, Hiei snuck into the Spirit World and "borrowed" a device made for mass-altering memories. He manipulated everyone's memories—even Kurama's—to think that he was entirely uninvolved and that Kurama's amazing revival had been due to the growth of his spectral power.

The animated series was created when the makers of Yu-Yu-Hakusho scanned the Reikai Tantei's memories and used them to make an anime. However, they did not have much of a chance to question Hiei, so they didn't get the truth. This account was created from the journal that Mukuro convinced Hiei to keep. He had written down everything about his life as far back as he could remember.

Guess who was snooping and found the book?

That's right. Your wonderful authoress, Tjix.

Don't tell Hiei—he'll rip my head from my shoulders. But that's how I know about this. I didn't pay much attention to the anime—I read Hiei's journal, instead.

Think the story's over? Oh, no. There are many more interesting tidbits in Hiei's journal, but I may never again get the chance to read it—he got it back, you see.

Perhaps with a bit of reader support I could get my courage up to snoop again. Perhaps not. We'll just find out, won't we?


End file.
